Life is complicated and often we are not sure which direction to take or what even is the right decision. We consult our partners, families or friends, or even strangers to help us make decisions. Whilst I would agree that some things are more complicated and life is complex at times, especially when life throws us a curve-ball, this is not always the case. We, as a species, have managed to complicate the simplest tasks; the tasks that are actually straight forward. We have made life and decision more complicated than they need to be.
One of the reasons for complicating life is probably the fact that we have more choices these days than we have ever had. A lot of the advancements are absolutely incredible and make life more efficient or easier in some way, but the number of choices can be overwhelming. Think about it: Your partner asks you to get some milk on the way home. Which one will you get? It is not as simple as just getting milk or a matter of full-cream or skim anymore. We now have all sorts of different vitamin varieties and different options of reduced fat milk. Not to mention grass-fed, organic, free-roaming, and we still haven’t decided on the brand yet. I don’t know what happened to normal milk, or what normal milk is anymore. And if you think this is confusing, try being a Barista when someone orders a half-strength decaf, lactose free, three-quarter latte. And then there is a Magic? What even is a Magic? Did someone shake a fairy to sprinkle some magic dust on it? Will a unicorn jump out of the cup? What happened to just simply ordering a coffee?
Consumerism has made things slightly murkier. We are being told by advertisements that we need to have bigger houses, cars, and certain pillows to sleep on to be happy. We buy things to impress others and don’t even know why we have a house full of junk. It sure sounds like a great deal when they tell you at 3.30am on TV that if you call now you get the second one for free. But if the device was as durable as promised, why do we need a second one in the first place? Consumerism and society tell us that we are not happy if we don’t have something, wear something, do something. So we do it in the pursuit of happiness only to feel more and more empty over time and wonder why we are facing the dark night of the soul. We try to cultivate happiness by external things, instead of creating it internally.
Another possible reason for complicating life could be that some of these advancements have also taken us further from ourselves than anticipated and we don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust that we can make decisions on our own and start relying on others, or devices to make the decision. This way we can avoid responsibility for our actions all together. If the decision turns out to be a bad one, we can blame the person or equipment that gave us the advice, or did the thinking for us. If we make a bad call, we worry that people may not like-us (typical people pleasers). If we don’t have the device with the navigation system, we may not get to our destination. Some advancements have taken us away from ourselves and turned off our internal guiding system. I am not saying to never seek advice, or drive around aimlessly, but to listen carefully and understand whether the advice resonates, and understand that we are in charge of our decisions. We are the ones that take steps or decide not to take steps and where we turn on our path and understand that we can trust ourselves. And by trusting ourselves we can cut through the noise quickly and keep life simple.
The same could be said about interpersonal relations. We don’t need to catch up with people ten times to sound them out and understand whether we get on with them or not. It actually happens on a completely different level and is quite simple. After we meet someone, do we walk away feeling expanded or constricted? Do we feel open to the world, or closed off. That feeling tells us more than any analysis of the actual conversation ever could. Sure, maybe we want to explore whether we feel the same way a few more times to make sure, but the point is we have learnt to intellectualise things instead of listening to our gut when called for. Deep down in our gut we know whether something feels right or not, we know whether we should hang out with people or not, we know whether something is a good deal or not, we know whether we should pursue an opportunity or turn it down. I am not talking about the “not being sure about something or someone because we have been hurt before and we don’t trust it”, I am talking about the knowing deep down of what feels right and what doesn’t. No amount of advice-seeking will get us there because it still needs to align with ourselves and our path.
At some point we will be faced by decision-fatigue, especially the overthinkers among us. If we are unlucky, decision-fatigue will strike when we have no more f’s to give and are faced with life altering decisions. Don’t we rather have enough in our tank to consider those, instead of wasting time thinking about whether we should buy a wine, jam or mahogany coloured lipstick (yes, they are all a very similar colour red and no one actually notices the difference)? If we are unsure whether we should buy a particular shirt or not, it is quite simple – we probably shouldn’t do it. Don’t we know it all, we buy the shirt that we weren’t sure about and then it hangs in our wardrobe never to be worn. Listening within cuts through the noise and assists in keeping life simple. Listening to your gut also tells you whether your gut actually likes your coffee choice in the first place- it literally will tell you.
When you consider that you are the master of your destiny and simple every-day life can stay simple, you bring simplicity back into your life. Life will throw you enough unexpected challenges, just to keep life interesting, which is a real bummer for the control freaks among us. But keeping life simple frees us up to focus on the important things in life and deal with the big decisions, the decisions that do matter and we trust ourselves to make the right calls. As per one of my previous posts, to live life in consequence is to strip away the unnecessary. Life is too short to worry about the small stuff, and it is later than you think. Stop complicating life for yourself with overthinking and worrying about different shades of colour. Instead of looking for perfection, just pick one. Instead of waiting for some fairy dust to appear or wondering whether a unicorn will trot out of your cup, go out into the world and sprinkle your own magic everywhere.